The loss of communication during dementia progression commonly leads to other problems for those experiencing dementia, as well as everyone involved with them. To be trapped inside a deteriorating brain, unable to express oneself, has got to be the most emotionally isolating and loneliest condition, even when outwardly surrounded by others.
Humans are herd animals, and our true nature is to live in family groups and communities; we depend on each other. However, even today, in our world of deteriorating family structures and individualism, social interaction is still essential to our well-being. When missing, it can lead to psychological and physical health problems
such as heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, and mental illnesses.
Studies have shown that the elderly who live alone and are socially isolated run high risks of developing dementia. Approximately one-third of those with dementia are already living alone, and when they have little social interaction or mental stimulation, they commonly experience a rapid escalation of symptoms.
At the onset of dementia, when the person begins losing words, they substitute for other words. As their condition progresses, they might babble or completely lose their
communication ability.
Communicating our feelings, thoughts, and ideas is essential to our health and happiness, and this doesn't stop when one gets dementia. On the contrary, maintaining communication abilities becomes even more critical as dementia symptoms progress.
When a loved one loses speech, it becomes challenging for family and caregivers to understand what the person needs or wants to convey. They often assume the person has lost more cognitive abilities than they have. When you can't communicate how much of you is still aware, it can seem to others you aren't.
In our world, speech is our primary way of communicating, but speech is only 40% of how we communicate. Our brain picks up billions of cues as to what we are trying to convey through facial expressions, body posturing, gestures, and tone of voice; in fact, it's 60%.
The brain is not the only communications operating system. The heart is a more assertive communicator than the brain, and most of our non-verbal communication is centered there. It's commonly understood that the heart responds to neuronal signals sent by the brain, but it's not as known that the heart sends more signals to the brain than it does to the heart. The heart affects the brain's emotional processing, attention, perception, memory, and problem-solving. The brain is continuously reacting and responding to the heart.
The heart is our second brain, and it has its own neuronal network of 40,000 neurons, a
memory and it generates an electromagnetic field 60 times stronger than the brain. It is a contained system and has a unique kind of intelligence. The HeartMath Institute in California has been scientifically researching heart intelligence since the 1990s. Heart Intelligence is your intuitive sense of what is true or what is best to do. It's an instantaneous knowing that combines instinct and the interplay of body, mind, and spirit in harmony.
We sense with our heart before the brain. When we feel a strong emotion, either negative or positive, our heart rhythms change and this information is then sent to the emotional areas of the brain to be processed, understood, or acted upon. So, our emotional experiences start with the heart first, then we think with the brain.
People with progressing dementia are losing their brain's cognitive abilities. Their memory, reasoning, and thoughts. But if the heart has its neuronal system with a memory that "knows", can dementia damage this?
It doesn't generate language or think like the brain; it "knows" In the bible, Proverbs 23:7 says, "As he thinks in his heart, so is he." So how can we apply heart talk with a person with dementia?
Remember, the heart speaks through feelings. When heart-based words are used, the tone of voice is essential, and the words used should be loving and expressed with feeling.
Touch is also essential to connect to the heart. How you touch a person conveys more than words. Gentle touch, holding one's hand, or stroking the cheek are caring gestures from the heart.
Remember, nonverbal cues like facial expression, body posturing, and gestures are the majority of our communication with others. Smile and keep your face happy or relaxed. Look at the person directly in the eyes, and never stand over them while sitting. The latter puts the person on the defensive. Non-verbal communication is more body-centered and connects to the heart.
When you honestly open your heart to someone with dementia, they respond likewise.
In one of the facilities where I gave workshops, I noticed a resident sitting on a couch, looking very sad. I sat beside her and said, "Hi, I'm Katya, and I thought I'd come over
here to meet you. What's your name?" She slowly raised her eyes and, surprisedly, asked me if I liked her. I smiled as big as possible and said, "More than that, I love you." Suddenly, she leaned over and enveloped me in a huge hug, saying repeatedly, "I love you too, I love you too." Shirley and I sat on that couch for an hour, talking and laughing, with our hearts totally connected. Two strangers sharing a loving time like they’ve known each other all their lives.
There is an exercise the Heart Math Institute suggests to connect to your heart before
interacting with someone. Before you make contact with the person, close your eyes, and as you slowly breathe, imagine your breath being drawn into the heart area, then breathe out from the heart. Do this three times; it helps center you in your heart.
After doing this simple exercise, you&'ll be amazed how your heart centered talk creates a profound connection with the other person.
Katya De Luisa resides in Costa Rica, and is a dementia educator, freelance writer, and
author of “Journey through the Infinite Mind, the science and spirituality of dementia.
Visit her website’s free blog section for more articles on dementia.
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